cw f slur

hai!!!!

if ur new (which i imagine most of you are lawl) i write yearly reflections of what i did in the year and write down my hopes and if they happened or not. i started this on deviantart back when it was still a site that was worth using for like... surprisingly YEARS. i just tried to find all the entries ive done and the first time i did it was in 2016... ill link at the end of this so you can see my... archive >_>

i feel like ive done a LOT this year. and i can confidently say i am in a way happier place. like i feel more capable and alive than i ever been.
i graduated college and currently living on my own with roommates. i think i traveled a lot too. the beginning of this year i was in atlanta and met with seals at the aquarium! and was in connecticut for a bit. i went to china and finally saw my extended family after maybe 10 or 9 years. it was very exciting and to just be in another country for a bit was refreshing to me. i would love to go back there again. im not really that close to family due to language barrier and even then i dont talk to the ones i have here all that much. i would love to connect with them better. family is baggage but thats not what this blog post is about.

being in china did influence my taste though (or at least there is a growing trend) and its this whole cute stationary collecting thing. idk I LOVE STATIONARY and collecting things that make me happy it was most of what i bought while i was there and i def want to make stationary. one of my goals is making more stickers/sticker sheets and/or do more collage work. its a market i feel like my work fits best right now.

SPEAKING OF COLLAGE WORK i really want to incorporate it more in my art going forward. i love the look and so far in college for my thesis, my paintings feature it in some shape or form. i love overlapping elements i just love that stuff. its what i grew up on. really want to do more experimental art!! yeah in terms of art im very proud! i have slowed art production after graduating mostly because ive been focused on job hunting.

WAIT I ALSO did TWO animated films this year IM VERY proud about that :'] one of them is already public on my youtube. and the other one got an laurel from mix n' mash fest ;w; which im heheh about. im happy about the first one because i made it specifically for goodie bag (NYC animation fest) and watching people react to it irl made me feel really good! i really want to do more. but maybe comics for now. i want to push myself to make comics!

honestly ive been thinking a lot about art lately after graduating. im thankful that i dont need to worry about assignments anymore but now i have to self motivate myself LOL which is hard but kind of exciting cause now i can try and bring skills i learned from working on school work to self motivated projects - cause really i learned a lot about my own process. BUT also i have an easier time when i am assigned things and have the parameter set by someone else. which is probably why i enjoyed making a short for goodie bag.

in my last entry i wrote that i had therapy, this time i dont anymore and it is because my therapist left the company for another and doesn't take my insurance anymore!!! im so sad because she was so gentle and perfect for helping me get through my anxiety. i tried new therapists but they ended up making me feel frustrated and annoyed. so im taking a break and surprisingly i seem to be doing fine. i still have whack anxiety and like, still grappling with my cptsd, but hey, once you learn how it effects you it makes coping easier.

looking at my 2024 goals i def did all of them except "learn video editing" which i do know enough of but i haven't given myself time to really get into video editing. i think i will move that to the new year :]

in terms of hopes LOL i think its funny i wrote top surgery, after being on t for a bit i dont see myself getting it soon. im currently happy with where i am at currently and its not high priority to me. i dont have much of a chest to begin with but yah! also i DID NOT GET muscles nor abs - my fitness goals all fell through but im living life and i do have a nice apartment and ive met people. i did not become gay. though i did start using hinge which hasn't been much fruitful and idk if i want to be on dating apps anyway

BWAH ok enough with that im gonna write my 2025 hopes n goals just to make it simpler for myself, hopes are more passive uncontrollable and low stakes
ill write goals first cause its easier

okay one hour to the new year ill leave it here! ty for reading im highkey super sleepy from working today and sleeping late LAWL but anyways heres to a new year 2025 BABEYYYYYY

CONNIE SIGNING OFF...

my past reflections: 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023
disclaimer i haven't looked at these so if they make you cringe im SORRY